Neglected Video Game Characters - Part II
Written By: Jeff

If you actually sat and read the first part of this than you are a bigger fool than I. Seeing as you apparently didn't mind reading the heaping mass of stupid I prepared last time, here's some more!

Pit (Kid Icarus)

Hero of Angel Land, slayer of Medusa and nuisance to the Eggplant Wizard, Pit's first outing was a hit among gamers so more sequels were sure to follow right? Other than a Gameboy remake, Pit's been left behind while those characters introduced around the same time have continued to expanded their universes.

Chance of Returning: Good. Ever since the appearance of Pit (in trophy form) in Super Smash Bros. Melee, people have been demanding a new game and if Nintendo's caving into demands for a realistic Zelda is any indication, then the kid may soon soar again.

Master Higgins/Wonderboy (Adventure Island/ Wonderboy (Monster World) Series)

Ok, I'll try to explain this the best I can and will most likely get some stuff wrong so bare with me. Master Higgins and Wonderboy are basically the same character as Hudson's Adventure Island is a port of Sega's Wonderboy arcade game and the lead character, Higgins, is a sprite hack of Tom-Tom (the first Wonderboy) made to look like a Japanese Video Game Champion named Takahashi. Apparently, a group of programmers left Sega and were hired by Hudson Soft to work on games for Nintendo's NES system. Wanting to bring the Wonderboy game to the NES but fearing a lawsuit from Sega, they figured that just by altering a few things, they could pass it off as a new game, which they did. The hacked game was a success on both sides of the ocean becoming better known than the very game it spawned from.

The Wonderboy series (called Monster World in Japan) moved away from the style of the original by incorporating RPG elements (think Zelda 2) into their games and giving players a larger world to explore while keeping gameplay simple but fun. The Adventure Island games, however, continued to build on the original adding a bit here and there until the release of part four where they adapted RPG elements as well and once again became just like Wonderboy.

Chance of Returning (Higgins): Good. Higgins recently appeared in a Smash Bros. type game (Japan Only) along with other characters form Hudson Soft and Konami so being used in a new game could very well be a sign of him coming back for another stab at saving his wife.

Chance of Returning (Wonderboy): Bad. Wonderboy has been MIA since the 16-bit days and I'm not even sure which company (Weststone?) has to rights to him and whether or not they're still around.

Lolo (The Adventures of Lolo Series)

Lolo is a small blue fury creature that lives in Eggerland, a peaceful place that's constantly under attack by just about everybody. He's also the star of one of the most deceptively simple looking puzzle games ever created. All you had to do is collect the heart tiles and grab the jewel allowing you to exit the puzzle room and move onto the next. Seems pretty easy but inhabiting each room are various enemies that will complicate things. Some will kill you, some will block your way and others must be used as shields or rafts to ensure your success. Definitely a "thinking mans game" with three installments on the NES, all worth checking out.

Chance of Returning: Middle. Lolo seems to have been reduced to doing cameos in Kirby games (and cartoons) so he may not have a title of his own again but he'll still be around.

Ladd (Bionic Commando)

Ladd is a special forces agent sent to rescue super awesome commando soldier, Super Joe from the clutches of "Evil Commie Nazis". He's packing a multi-purpose cannon of some kind and an extending bionic arm which lets him grab onto and swing from just about anything. Ultimately making for one kick ass game with Neutral Zones and exploding Hitler heads all around. There were also two Gameboy titles released a long time ago worth checking out.

Chance of Returning: Good. Rumor has it that the team behind the Maximo games may be looking into updating the Commando for a new mission. The way I see it, if they can make a decent Spiderman game with web swinging action (which they have), then this should be easy.

Non-Effeminate Male Characters (Castlevania and others)

The people of Japan are insane or at least the people in their entertainment industry are. Whether you 're watching their CARTOONS, reading their comics or playing their games, you'll notice that a good deal of them feature very effeminate men or "femimen" as I will now brand them. Apparently, the chicks over there over like guys that look like women and the men want to get with the women so they try their best to look like chicks. Anyway, somehow this ended up in their games which is what I'm talking about here and now we're being overrun by weak little pansy lead characters that would much rather buy shoes then kill the fifty-foot demon throwing cars in the parking lot.

The biggest offender is my book is the Castlevania series, which at a time was about the Belmont clan, a bloodline of vampire hunters that would dedicate and train their entire lives to kicking the bejebus out of the undead. Now the series is about a group of Metrosexuals and how they accessorize and redecorate the rooms of ancient castles. The blame for this goes squarely on the head of the series director whose name I don't feel like looking up so I'll just call him Iga because everyone else does and to him I have this special message:

Iga, if you have a thing for guys that look like women then fine, whatever, just don't think that we all share the same love that you do, ok. Remember, you're making these games for an international audience and we tend to want our vampire hunters to look like they spend their time picking fights not eyeliner. Also, change up the gameplay, I liked your take on Castlevania the first time I played it when it was called Super Metroid.

Chance of Returning: Middle. It's going to get worse before it gets better if Final Fantasy XII is any indication of things to come. At least there are still developers in the U.S., Canada and Europe that we can relay on when things start to get a little too "sissified".

Ok, that's it, even though there are countless others such as the Gunstar Heroes, Alex Kidd and the car from Rad Racer but I don't feel like typing anymore.


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