Do you like the title? Its kind of like I am implying that you don't play enough video games. Let's face it. YOUR NOT GETTING LAID. EVER. So you might as well start playing more, at least until your life spirals out of control and you turn into a putrid, husk of your former self, and you finally put an end to it all by drinking too much Mountain Dew AMP or whatever the fuck you nerds drink. This list contains awesome games, so if you are one of those WOW clowns, you probably can't handle the sheer badassness of these games.
1. Rag Doll Kung Fu: What do you get when you mix Chinese Marital Arts and Psychedelic Mushrooms? One sweet game. You control a little guy by grabbing onto the part of him that you want to kick ass with, and then swing said part into ninjas. (No, not that part you perv) It's harder than it looks and there is a lot of technique involved. The levels are super trippy with a bad ass sound track that will make you want to quit being emo. The best part is that you can make your guy eat these mushrooms that grow everywhere so he can gain super powers. Its like if Max Payne was tripping his balls off. Everything goes slow-mo with crazy visuals. One of my favorite parts is the secret stuff that you unlock, like a little mixing board to create your own King Fu Hip Hop. God Damn this game is sweet.
2. Theme Hospital: Running a hospital is addictive as hell. This game might be old, but it has stood the test of time. This is from the golden age of simulation games. The goal of this game is to meet certain criteria like curing a certain amount of people, gaining reputation, or getting rich. Each level is different and offers a wide range of challenges. Some of the diseases you must cure include Bloaty Head, Hairyitis, and Invisibility, among many more. I think this game works because of its blend of humor, difficulty, and dynamic game play. If your hospital becomes too littered and dirty, mice start running everywhere. Don't worry though you can blow them away with a shot gun (just clean up the exploded rodent body, because if people see it they will puke all over). If you kill enough mice you can unlock a secret level.
3. Carnivores: Do you like dinosaurs? Do you like shooting things? Do you like shooting dinosaurs? Then I have the game for you. In Carnivores you are on an island inhabited by extinct giant lizards, and you must destroy them. Why? To see who can shoot the biggest one of coarse. They didn't just stop at making one of these master pieces, but three. The last one, Carnivores: Ice Age, you can even kill a yeti.... with a machine gun. You heard me, and yes, your dreams are coming true.
So please for the love of God, stop playing WoW for like 10 minutes and try to wrap your brain around one of these games. Try not to get your mind blown and have fun.
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