Silent Hill: Revelation 3D
2012 Nov 04

Hey champerinos! Remember when we used to do reviews around here? Well, let's all relive the glory days with this brand-spanking new assessment of Silent Hill: Revelation 3D. Incidentally, I tend to just stuff my silly capsule reviews (and MORE) into my lousy Grumblr these days, so you should be looking at that if you appreciate compounding rubbish.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon
2011 Jun 28

Here's the leaked script for Michael Bay's 'Splosions 'Splosions 3 'Splosions! 'Splosions More 'Splosions to coincide with the release of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. In all honesty, my friend James pretty much wrote this one for me. Hey, doesn't Dark of the Moon just make you think "dark side of the moon" so it just looks like they just forgot a word?

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
2009 Jul 01

Robot Chicken did this Michael Bay 'splosion-based parody that was pretty spot on, I guess. But I am also pretty sure my award-killing screenplay for the original Michael Bay's 'Splosions totally predates it. This is the sequel. It's got more of what chu want and less time-wasting talky words. Also, read the original here, because otherwise you're just gonna be so lost.

Monsters, Marriage and Murder in Manchvegas
2009 Jun 23

Whoa, Internet! I forgot you were there for a sec. Well, the folks behind Freaky Farley gave me a copy of their new film and since seeing legitimately independent films is fun for me and reviewing something relatively unknown is one of the few times I feel useful on this website, I had a rather good time with Monsters, Marriage and Murder in Manchvegas. Go read now!

The Top 5 Most Overrated Foreign Films...Ever!
2009 Apr 16

How goes it? I wrote a thing about what I think the most overrated foreign films are. So take that foreigners and the country of Foreignia. And you locals can take it too. And read it at your leisure. Maybe take a few breaks now and then, if you like. It's a bit lengthy after all.

The Unborn
2009 Jan 13

You know that the international poster for The Unborn features a hot girl with a funny name's ass? Over here, we just get Gary Oldman screaming at a dictionary. Anyway, here's my review of the movie, and by review I mean I didn't see the movie and I didn't actually write a review.

Synecdoche, New York
2008 Nov 09

I saw Charlie Kaufman's new movie, Synecdoche, New York. I'd like to say I wish I hadn't, but then I'd have nothing to be indignant about today. This is our 200th movie review, by the way. That's gotta be some kinda milestone, right? Right?! Anyone?!? PLEASE! ANSWER ME!!!!

Freaky Farley
2008 Oct 27

The guy who made this movie asked if I wanted to review it and was kind enough to even ship it to me in the UK. And, in return, I waited over a year to review it. I am not a good man, to be sure, but, on the bright side, it's a pseudo-horror flick, so it coincides quite well with the season, no? Yes. No?! YES!!! Ok ok, let's not argue anymore.

V for Vendetta
2008 Sep 20

I know why you come to Listen To Me -- it's for reviews of movies that came out more than a year ago. Well! To satisfy your desires, here's my take on V for Vendetta.

Taare Zameen Par (Stars on Earth)
2008 Sep 16

Hi, hi. Joseph here. I saw an Indian movie on an airplane flight. No, I don't mean like Dances With Wolves. This one is called Taare Zameen Par and it's supposed to be, like, the best Bollywood movie ever. So, yeah, it's pretty bad. Here's a review.

Funky Movie Musicals
2008 Sep 01

With the desire of turning Listen To Me into a haven for camp nonsense, I present this review of four funky movie musicals. Uh...it has YouTube clips! That's fun, right? Right? Anyone?

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