Batman Begins
Review By: Joe

How come this movie got so hyped? I mean I can understand the anticipation for the dorks as this is apparently the most true to the comic version of Batman yet but for us normals, you know, you and me? Why do we care so much?! I didn't really have a huge interest in this film but it certainly looked to be doing something different than the last two and about three days before the release I said "Yeah, I guess I'ma see dat." Due to free time and knowing people who were going, I ended up going to the 12 AM HARDCORE showing. Yay! Review for you? About medium-sized, would you like? Sounds fine to me!

This movie's good! I had mahself a fun time at the old thee-ay-ter let me tell you. The last two movies were directed by Joel Schumacher who I am pretty sure doesn't really know how to do anything good. This one is directed by that Memento guy. I don't care for that film so much, mostly because the ending is HOMOSEXUAL but it was certainly weird and, as the first two Tim Burton films showed us, Batman is better when a weirdo's at the helm.

Same thing goes for the lead role. Not nearly as weird a choice as Michael Keaton but still a pretty weird motherfucker in his own right, Christian Bale, looking well-nourished, is now the Buttman. Haha Buttman that was sooooooooo easy and yet sooooooooo classic. Hey, fuck you, man.

Anyway this movie is mostly cool. Honestly, when Batman Begins began (HAHA! YES!) I didn't particularly care for what I was seeing. The whole training thing in the opening was largely boring and silly. Watching Qui-Gon beat the crap out of Christian and saying "OOGY BOOGY YOU NO GOOD" doesn't do it for me. The film is quite a long sucker, clocking in at about two hours and twenty minutes and most of it really is fairly interesting and a LOT goes on. However, I must admit to feeling a bit restless by the time it was hitting what were supposed to be the really cool parts and, in fact, they were cool and I liked them. I just wanted to get there earlier. I blame the training part. It smells.

OH! One thing I thought was interesting is that there are NO OPENING CREDITS OR TITLE. I remember thinking just as the film started, "Batman Begins is kind of a stupid title." Maybe that's why the director opted to leave it out till the end. Anyway, it was kind of a cool way to bring you STRAIGHT INTO THE WORLD OF THE MOVIE AND LEAVE YOU THURR TILL THE END!!!

Also, two things I noticed about this monkey director was his crazy editing. MAN them some fast cuts. Check out how oddly dialogue is handled: CUT CUT CUT ZAM SHBAM!!! It's sort of a minor thing but I think most everyone will notice it, at least subconsciously. SUB! Oh, and he's evidently one of these directors who likes crazy, tight camerawork during fight scenes...the kind where you can't see what the hell is going on. Lousy Peter Jackson did it too. I don't care for this but at least everything remained cool somehow, even though I couldn't quite see what was happening.

ANYWAY as for GOOD! All the actors in place function quite nicely. Bale's a winner! Yay for he! Michael Caine as Alfred is good as is Morgan Freeman as Sophisticated Black Man with Gadgets. Gary Oldman doesn't have a huge part but manages to kick major ass. I'd only seen him playing crazy evil people up until now and he manages the honest cop role so well, it makes it clear to me how good he is. Cillian Murphy, who was the main guy in 28 Days Later which is a stupid movie, was quite cool as Scarecrow and all the stuff done with Scarecrow was awesome in general. Cillian did well, I think, because I genuinely disliked him immediately, although I think that has a lot to do with the fact that he has such a weird face. Man, I hate that weird face. Speaking of weird faces, this movie has helped me decide that Katie Holmes has one too. I'd still likely have sexual relations with her but she is a pretty odd lookin' gal when you get down to it. Her performance wasn't great but it didn't offend me so, yeah, whatever.

Basically, this movie is a lot of fun. I think I'll probably always dig Tim Burton style more but this really is a very complex (as in many, many things go down) movie with SOME (not loads of) witty writing to it. I am sure my word is the deciding factor in your...uh...decision so go see this movie. You will have yoself a good time.

Oh, one more thing I really must commend this film for is for being one of the new action movies I've seen in a long time that doesn't rely heavily on computer generated effects. The only CG done in this film was brief and well used, unlike some films I've seen recently like stupid STAR WARS TRES COMPADRES. Yes, yes. This movie is MUCH better than that new Star Wars. MUCH. MUCH. MUCH.


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