Last Days
Review By: Joe

NOTE!!!!: If you read this review you might be wondering (right sure) why I even bothered to see this piece of poop when I don't appear to be interested in the director or subject matter or anything and there are various other independent films out right now that I find much more appealing. VERY SIMPLY: A friend of mine wanted to see it and I was under the impression that he could also procure marijuana for me later on. THERE, I SAID IT!

To this film's credit, I got my pot. ON WIT DA REVIEW!!!:::!!!:!::!

I guess Gus Van Sant is mofuckin' big time if you like pseudo-intellectual film. I saw Drugstore Cowboy and liked it fine. Other than that, I'm not sure what I've seen of his, if anything.

Evidently, Last Days is the third film he's made in some trilogy of garbage films (although the other ones are SUPPOSED to be better) that share a style of having like no plot and nothing happening. Well, this is the only one I saw and I think Gus Van Sant is a jackass now.

This movie is about the last couple of days of a character LOOOSELYOOHHH based on Kurt Cobain. First we have the issue that Kurt Cobain wasn't that cool, so I don't care. But beyond that...!

The only thing worth ANY merit (I suppose) in this film that I can say is that it probably is fairly accurate. Even though the final couple of days of his life that Kurt Cobain had in some crazy castle (it's a castle here anyway, I don't know the real life details) can't be accurately documented by anyone except the dead depressed heroin addict himself, I imagine this is about what it was like. That is to say:


I mean that just as I say it. NOTHING. The main character, BLAKE!, wanders around in and out of the general area of his castle and does things like goes pee in a stream and makes macaroni and cheese (not at the same time; these are two seperate events but, frankly, it would have been a lot more interesting if they were combined). Oh and he mumbles pretty much the whole time. That's it. You don't even get to watch him kill himself! And you know we was all waitin' fo it!

Oh! In the midst of all the nothing there's a homosexual makeout scene between two characters, one of which has admitted earlier (in one of the scant few lines of dialogue) that he had a girlfriend in the past. I suppose the idea of him being bi-sexual is fine if it had a function in the film whatsoever but OH WAIT A MINUTE NOTHING DOES. I read a review somewhere in which a man said, "And then there's a gay scene because this is a Gus Van Sant film" so, hey, it's not just me. It's as sudden and unwarranted as the sex in a porno.

Anyway! I wasn't even that mad after I saw this movie because it had lulled me into some state of complete and utter apathy. It honestly felt like I'd not watched anything but had instead just taken a nap. But it took only an hour or so of sobering up to come to my senses.

I don't care what anyone says and I'm appalled that this movie has just managed to squeeze by with a "Fresh" rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Don't let anyone argue to you that this film is remotely intelligent in any way. I mean I know smarty smart indie movies get away with having a lack of/slow-moving plot but there's still SOME THING. A lot of people walked out of the theater I was in rather than try to decipher any semblance of meaning or purpose from this HOLE (COURTNEY!) of a film. Sometimes a film deserves your patience. In this case, the people who walked out were the clear winners of the haus.

This film is a perfect example of how independent films can go wayyyyy too far over to the opposite end of the cinema spectrum. I'd honestly rather have a stupid action movie plot than a COMPLETE LACK OF ANYTHING. It might be mildly funny to try and laugh along with Mr. Van Sant as what he's done here really feels like a big joke he is playing on the audience. Unfortunately, I read some interview stuff with him and, apparently, he really thinks what he's doing is worth a damn in some obscene manner. EVEN THOUGH!!!!:

There is a part in the movie where BLAKE! passes out in a room with the television on as it plays a Boyz II Men video. There is then a cut to a shot of the television playing the video. It stays on this shot until the video ends, which takes at least a minute.

Please drop me a line if you deduce the earth-shattering significance of this. The video was for the song "On Bended Knee" if that helps.

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