The Producers
Review By: Gringo

I used to be the king, the king of old Broadway.

But then some stupid uppity evil American slime decided to overthrow the monarchy in this silly thing called a "revolution" and so this brings to an end (1) an unfunny reference to the opening song in Mel Brooks' musical The Producers and (2) yet another tired attempt to crack a joke about a revolution that took place more than 200 years ago.

Aficionados of this site may recall that the very first article I wrote was all about how to make a comedy, and in said article I made reference to the fact that I thought the movie The Producers was a work of Mel Brooks genius, compared to a work of Mel Brooks post-Spaceballs. I also compared the movie to a Snickers bar, so maybe I shouldn't be trying to draw on past glories quite so much. Either way, I truly love the original movie The Producers.

To complicate matters in my tiny brain, after the original movie came out, Mel Brooks decided to write himself a million-dollar paycheck by turning the movie into a Broadway musical. The movie and musical are both about two producers putting on the worst show ever written -- a gay romp called Springtime for Hitler -- after a nebbish accountant called Leo Bloom tells a greasy con-man called Max Bialystock that you can make more money with a flop than a hit. Well, you personally can't do that, because I'll report you to the cops. So there!

Once the musical was a huge success, talk then turned to making a movie of the musical. Which brings us full circle and lets me finish this dull-as-ditchwater back story. To cut a long story short (too late!) the original Max and Leo were played by Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder. To cut a longer story shorter (hahaha), in the movie musical, Max and Leo are played by Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick. Are we done with the facts? Then let the ROFL LOL begin!

Yes, several of the songs in the movie are very funny, particularly Keep It Gay, which involves a lot of homosexual stereotypes prancing around, and the titular (snicker, I said titular) song of the worst show ever written; Springtime For Hitler. But throughout the movie, there's something about the songs that seems very dry, very flat and rather obviously, very staged. It's along the lines of Richard Gere in Chicago: everyone seems to be showing a lot of restraint and not really bothering to hit the proverbial ball out the park. I promise that's the only baseball cliche I'm ever going to use on this site. Really.

Plus, I don't like Broderick's Bloom. At all. Whereas Gene Wilder was an eccentric, wild-eyed, frizzy-haired loon you couldn't help but like, Broderick looks like he's trying to impersonate Gene Wilder. However, he fails and ends up looking like a retard. Whoops...my bad, I didn't mean to type that...I mean he ends up looking like a really dumb retard. Overall, the movie is an underwhelming production and I can't really recommend you go see it. Stick with the original, or buy the soundtrack to the Broadway version. You'll thank me. No, YOU'LL THANK ME, MISTER, OR I'LL...

...uh...anyway, to quote Forrest Gump, "that's all I have to say about that". Except that at one point in the movie, Gene Broderick sings that "I wanna be a producer". Well, by appearing alongside Nathan Lane, you're already showing that you're pro-Jew, sir. You're already half way to your dreams! Keep on dreaming, champion!

By the way, I realized today that I truly, deeply hate people that use the line "Hey, it's not meant to be fun, that's why they call it work". Yeah, right, prick. Then just why the fuck did those seven dwarfs find themselves whistling while they did it?


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