Alien Vs. Predator
Review By: Lauren

Hello! I went to see Aliens Vs. Predator! Probably because I have the judgment of a drunk four year old with lupus. I actually went to see the movie when it first came out, but according to the laws governing this site I could not write a review about it until it was considered out of date. That is our secret to success: Poor quality on obsolete topics, and also no updating. Which I thought was going to change once Joe and Ross took over. But then I remembered that it was Joe and Ross who took over.

Before I went to see this show, I went out and rented Predator and watched Alien on TV. I quite enjoyed both. Mindless violence is always a winner in my book. Although I watched both it turned out not to be a prerequisite for Alien Vs. Predator, or what I am now calling Fags Vs. Gays.

The movie starts out with the discovery of a pyramid buried thousands of feet under the ice of Antarctica. A team of douches is hired by this one douche and they all go to Antarctica to be cold and to die. When they arrive there is a big (butt) hole already drilled into the ice all way down to the pyramid. So naturally some one falls in and they all go down there unprepared. Ten feet from the bottom of the hole is the pyramid. This part really pissed me off, and I heard some other people in the theater say, "WTF OMG That is Ghey!!!!!!!!11". The scaling on the giant pyramids hundreds of miles across was so crappy that it looked like the people were taller than it. I don't know how that made it past Quality Control. They probably use the same system that we use. We use a drunk four year old with lupus. Welcome to LTM. Here is a recreatation of the scaling.

You love my drawings! You love them like Ross loves the pole. So then they all run in and go into a room where guns pop out of a tomb, when they grab the guns, the doors lock and the gaymes begin. Hahaha I spelled games like gay-mes. I am your god. A bunch of eggs come out of the floor, so everyone runs into a new opening. Hey this review sucks and if you have made it this far then you clearly have no self respect. So let's shorten it up. I think there are like a total of three fight scenes. There are four Predators and maybe twenty aliens. Not exactly a battle of epic proportions. But if the Predators lose then all the earth will be destroyed by a bomb, so the Aliens do not escape. Because that makes sense. In the end everyone dies except for sjdahfashdfi hf. Fuck this.


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