National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Review By: Gringo

Considering that (1) this movie has already grossed more than $170 million domestically and (2) nobody reads my garbage anyway, there's a pretty good chance this review could qualify as a new dictionary definition of pointless. But has that stopped me before? Hells no!

This movie is the sequel to National Treasure, which I reviewed a long time ago and really rather liked. Once again, there's something about this second brainless action adventure that won me over. Unfortunately, coming just a couple of days after my mini-review of Juno, I must seem like some obese yokel who prefers explosions over emotions, and punch-ups over plots. Not true! I only weigh 170 pounds!

Once again, Nicolas Cage dons an atrocious hairpiece to play treasure hunter Ben Gates. He's joined by an incredibly unnecessarily large number of sidekicks -- ranging from his quarreling divorced mother and father to young geeky one-liner machine and all-round conspiracy nerd Riley Poole -- on a quest to clear his ancestor's name after said old person is accused of being a conspirator in the Lincoln assassination. Apparently, if Gates can find a lost city of gold, he can clear his ancestor's name...somehow? Right.

You pretty much have to suspend a critical eye going in to a movie like this. It's not going to challenge your brain. There will be cheesy jokes aplenty. Example!

Ben Gates: I'm gonna kidnap him. I'm gonna kidnap the President of the United States.
Riley Poole: Wouldn't it just have been easier to make an appointment?

ZOMG LOL! Yeah. Although this isn't an intellectual movie, it's a perfectly entertaining way to spend two hours. It's a little slow to get started but pretty soon the screen fills with pretty explosions, elaborate sets, and lots of shouting and hollering about lost treasure and all that jazz. Oh, and somewhere along the line Ed Harris shows up as a bad guy whose entire motivation is to have his family name attached to a big discovery. Hmm.

My only problem with this sequel? There's a whole segment set in London, where apparently it's as easy as piss to break into the Queen's office. Not only that, but every English person says the word "Oi!" to start a sentence, and the very special ones like to spout things like "I haven't the foggiest!". Okay.

But then hoping a movie like this would strive for authentic treatment of foreigners is kind of like hoping that the word "president" could never conceivably be in front of the name Mike Huckabee. Oi!

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