2 Days in Paris
Written By: Joe

To be quite frank with you, dear chums, I've no idea where and when this movie comes out/has come out. So if you've never heard of it, well, super!, this fancy little picture might find its way to you SOON ENOUGH!!! If you saw this eight years ago, I will endeavor to refer to you as Timetraveller McButt from now on. You like it? Too bad.

Julie Delpy makes a point of only writing and being in movies about her character (who is a French woman who is probably a lot like Julie Delpy) being in a country for a short period of time with a guy who she walks around and talks a lot with. If what I am saying makes as much sense to you as a French film, you obviously have not heard of Richard Linklater's Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, which star Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke as those two people in Waking Life. Anyway, they talk a bunch and Linklater films it and slaps a title on it and calls it steak. Or a movie. I'm not sure. I don't really know much about the film industry.

Anyway, this time Julie threw out the director and the Ethan and replaced the former with herself and the latter with Adam Goldberg. She also included more of a plot than those other movies...but not a lot more. Basically, this couple goes to Paris to meet Julie's family and they talk a lot and the family is crazy and then the couple has some fights and then there's sort of an ending, whatever.

I like these kinds of movies. I have no particular problem with those Before Sun- movies (although the first one tips precariously into the realm of being "way too damned annoying" at times) and so this one is fine too. Plus, Adam Goldberg pretty much makes the movie as he's sort of a prick and he's genuinely funny most of the time and there was no such character in those other movies. Also, there are actually like different scenes and stuff, instead of just people walking forever. That said, Before Sunset is probably a better movie. You can't stop me from comparing all of these together, Delpy! BABY, YOU CAN'T!

So, if you don't like movies with a lot of jibber-jabber (much of which, Julie Delpy-style, is almost laughably overtly liberal) and no specific climax or, arguably, plot, this will probably not make you happier, but I have to say I don't really see why anybody wouldn't like Adam Goldberg's comedy stylings here, because he is funny.

It is also worth noting that this film is partially in English and partially in French and I personally viewed this film in a theater (or possibly theatre) in Amsterdam where the subtitles were all in Dutch. As a result, I only understood the English parts and had to glean what I could from the nearly non-existent amount of French I know. Although I'm not sure I can reccommend watching the movie this way (there were some full scenes where I understood more or less nothing), it was actualy a genuinely interesting way of watching it because Adam Goldberg's character finds himself frequently surrounded by people speaking a language he doesn't understand, so it most definitely helped to put me in that character's shoes. I usually managed to figure out the basic topic of each conversation at any rate, which was fun for me, guys.

Have you ever seen 2 Days in Paris...on WEED?? Why, yes, I have, actually.

So, overall, I had a good time. Maybe you will. I dunno. Maybe not. You might be a tool. It's an affliction many of us suffer from, but is rarely diagnosed. So I will provide you with a test you can do in your very own home:

Ask yourself the following question: Do I like The Dave Matthews Band?

If the answer is "no," you are probably in the clear. If you find your mouth shaping the word "yes," go onto question 2:

Do I press my love of Dave Matthews onto other people?

If the answer to this question is another sad and dismal "yes," the following solution is available: Go to a drugstore and buy a bottle of aspirin. Take all of these with your favorite type of alcohol (which will probably be some sort of wine cooler, considering what I know about your personality and all) and don't call me in the morning lol.

An alternative test is available:

Ask yourself the following question: Do I express my views by way of a website and therefore think my opinion to be superior to that of others?

If the answer is "no," you are a sweet peach. If it is "yes," it is probably okay because, with any luck, you will die deservingly sad and lonely whether you make a concerted effort or not. Trust me, I've tried it out. Works like gangbusters.


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