White Christmas
A review packed with delightful holiday cheer. Kind of.

The Simpsons Movie
Everything you expected and nothing more.

Check out this super-advance copy of the screenplay for Michael Bay's next stunning epic...'SPLOSIONS!!!!

Based on a true, uninteresting story (the review, not the movie).

Knocked Up
But I get...down again?

Day Night Day Night
Boring Stupid Boring Stupid

I don't want you seeing that Rodriguez boy anymore. He's bad news. With a capital Mexican.

My Little Bride
This was originally written in Korean by the same writer but translated to the best of ability.

The Hills Have Eyes 2
A wondrous collaboration!!!

Just add titties.

Black Snake Moan
Brown Llama Fart

Lauren wastes my time and yours. Indecipherable pictures included!

The Queen
Well, on the bright side, this doesn't contain any spoilers.

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
Personally, I choose to ignore mine.

The Science of Sleep
I will stop using outdated humor about abstract concepts like "freedom" and "terrorists" as soon as the administration does. Wait, what do you mean they were not trying to be funny?


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