The Breeders: POD
Review By: Joe

Hello! I have a music review for you of an album from 1990! So come back with me now and yaddayaddayadda some stuff might happen.

I'll be honest with you now for once in my life. You guys are my only friends. Now I will be honest with you again. I never took much stock (chicken stock specifically) in Kim Deal's musical abilities. Kim Deal, for those of you who smell like burning plastic, is the bassist/backing singer for The Pixies, for those of you who smell like burning hair, the best band pretty much ever.

Now I never really thought too highly of Kim because Frank Black is basically the brains and all the other major organs that are behind having an awesome band like The Pixies. Certainly I acknowledge that without her presence, The Pixies would sound nothing like The Pixies do because, you know, she sings and she's like a girl and stuff. She does have a pretty hot voice too. Or at least I more thought she did before and now I've realized it's kind of weird and freaky. I still like it pretty well though.

Okay, one thing is though, Kim isn't a particularly good bassist. Almost every Pixies bassline is absurdly simple but that's fine. It's not as though she pretends to be awesome at the bass or something. She was really just a guitarist who wanted a job and most Pixies songs are fairly simple music anyway. Basically, Kim Deal works just fine for me when she is doing what Frank Black says. Her own music writing ability, however, seemed questionable to me!

Kim wrote the lyrics to Gigantic which are fine except they sound like they are about a (Camilla Parker Bowles says, "Is it a) black man's cock(?"). She was responsible for the only song (Silver) I find to be weak on Doolittle. She also wrote that new thing Bam Thwok! which is...well, it's okay but the lyrics do kind of hurt me in the bowels. Anyway, Kim's band she done do on her own is called The Breeders. They have made three albums. I had for a time owned the second one which is the one that has Cannonball on it, the only song anyone really knows by The Breeders. There are some okay things on the album but I've found it overall to be fairly weak and, again, the lyrics were sometimes kind of cheese-flavored.

Not that long ago I went and picked up the new album, Title TK, which is really pretty new, like 2003 or something I dunno, close to there anyway. It struck me almost immediately as just empty, empty music with nothing there worth hearing. I'm not sure I feel this negatively about it anymore but a friend of mine who likes The Breeders had the exact same response so it's not just me. So you see? Two reputable sources! Me and my friend!

HOWEVER! I had never owned the first Breeders album but I went and picked it up because this internet kid said it was good. I get lots of good advice from the internet. I didn't have very high expectations for it but actually this album KICKS A BITCH'S ASS. Yes!

The album is called POD but there are no periods inbetween the letters so there's nothing Christian about it and it doesn't suck nuts. The only consistent member The Breeders have had throughout all their albums is Kim herself. Other than that, they've shifted around members as much as Destiny's Child. Yeah! See, I know what you kids are listening to.

Anyway, when they did this first album they had Tanya Donelly, who was in the Throwing Muses, which I haven't heard much of but don't think I particularly care for and now has a solo career, which actually seems to be fairly okay. They also had Josephine Wiggs who does some stuff too. I don't know shit about her.

I'm not sure why I mentioned these people since I barely know anything about them but one thing is that in the later albums, Kim's sister, Kelley Deal (whose voice sounds exactly like Kim's), joined on and I noticed everything got poppier and shittier and I wonder if there is any correlation between the two things. There was a period between the second and third albums as well where Kelley went to jail or something I dunno and Kim made an album with some other blokes under the band name The Amps. I also like this album more than the second and third Breeders albums with Kelley on board that came before and after it so hmm? HMMMMMM???

Anyhoo, what do you care, jerkface? This first album is quite brilliant. It's a quick little number, only about a half hour long but during that period Kim demonstrates that she can ROCK YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF AND POSSIBLY YOUR KNEES if she wants to. The music on this first album is really not like any of the other albums, for the most part. It's a lot less poppy, it sounds more raw and less polished, in a good way! Also, the music is quite simple. It's kind of like a Pixies album, really, in some respects. It's almost like Kim took what she learned from Frank and made it a bit more low key and depressing.

If you are PISSED OFF AND SAD, here is an album to listen to. Not all of it but most of it will do you well. It's good music on it's own but it does a considerably better job of giving a sort of "Oh man I live in a dumpster" feeling than music by the unhappy metal bands the radio plays these days. If you actually do live in a dumpster, I hope you can get a walkman and a copy of this album somewhere. Good luck then.

Almost every track is solid but I most specifically like Glorious, Doe, Oh!, When I was a Painter, Iris, Lime House, and the cover of The Beatles' Happiness is a Warm Gun. It does kind of suck that a song on here is a cover. I'd kind of rather there was just another original composition but it's definitely a competent cover that you only won't like if you are one of those homoerotic Beatles' puritists who is like "OHHH YOU CANNOT EVER TAKE WHAT GEORGE HARRISON DID AND COVER IT AND STUFF BECAUSE HE HAD THE COOLEST BEARD, BRO." Look the beard was O-K. THAT'S ALL. I think I may prefer the cover to the original song actually. BLASPHENOMY! It's basically made into a rock song rather than the silly genre changing nonsense of the original. Although that weird little ditty early in the song IS better in the original. This I admit.

There is some brief but well-used violin work on a few tracks on this album that gives it a nice solemn sound. Also, this album was mixed by Steve Albini (also did the Pixies' Surfer Rosa and Nirvana's In Utero and pretty much anything (YES, ANYTHING EVER!) else you can think of that was kind of weird and sounded awesome) so the drums sound absolutely kick ass because that's how Albini do.

As for Kim's lyrics, she actually does an okay job here! I don't know that they're LOTS better than they usually are but they seem to fit well with these songs and nothing ever gets anywhere near as corny as "Fifty thousand watts of GOOD WILL!!!" Sometimes the lyrics are funny too like when she says, "When I was a painter I painted you well. Too bad I have to die." and in Lime House where she continually shouts "TAR BABY!" No, I'm not sure why she felt the need to include an archaic racial slur but there it is and it is YELLED.

This is a fairly solid album overall. I'd say only the last track is a true throwaway because it's honestly just way too quiet and whatever is being played is far too understated to make any significant impact on the EARZ. But other than that, we have a consistently awesome album here. It's one of my faves, really. If you like the Pixies, you'll probably like this and I can't necessarily say that for the other two Breeders albums. If you like good rock music, this album is good too. If you like bad rap music, there's always Dizee Rascal. I'll admit he's pretty funny though.

This is a long review and there weren't many jokes. This is the inherent problem we have with me reviewing things I actually respect. Next time I'll review children with cerebral palsy.

UNCALLED FOR!


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