This fake site is a look at fandom-gone-too-far. You might as well check out the proper site before reading the below-par parody which follows.
Last updated June 18, 2001
Welcome, fellow Police Academy fans!
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|June 18||Police Academy 8 A No-Go
Sorry folks, but it looks like we're not going to get another visit to the academy! Steve Guttenburg appeared on David Letterman's show last night and burst into tears when asked about doing another movie in the series. He's probably just emotional for the old days. For those that missed it, the repeat shows at 8:00 PST tomorrow. I have taped the appearance and am in the process of creating a Pop-Up Video style overlay for it to exhaust all my Police Academy knowledge.
|June 15||Ebert: Police Academy Movies Suck
Roger Ebert gives one of the most inaccurate reviews of the Police Academy series, which opens at my local fleapit today. He called them unfunny AND plotless. We have started a petition to remove him from decent life. If you want to sign it, send your name and home address to firstname.lastname@example.org.
|June 12||Congrats to Police Academy's #1 AFI Win
AFI's countdown of the 100 best movies of all time put Police Academy VII: Mission To Moscow at #1, with Waterworld, The Avengers and Battlefield Earth coming close.
It has been brought to my attention that the AFI list is currently headed "100 WORST movies". I am sure this is a mistake on AFI's part, but just in case I have started a petition. Send your bank details to: AFIarewrongasalways@butIamright.com.
Happy 20th Birthday!
Today marks 20 years since the birth of the guy whose mother knew the friend of a key grip who worked for two days on the Police Academy 3: Back In Training set before being jailed in a drugs bust. Hey, he's part of film history!
|June 7||Studio Holding Guttenburg Back
One of my Hollywood contacts writes that Police Academy 8 is stuck in development hell. 'El Scorcho', from Stockville, MI, says the following occurred when he asked Steve Guttenburg about the project: "I ask3d him and he said all teh studi0s sux!!!!!!!!111111111111.1". Read into that what you want, but I think that everything might slowly be falling into place!
Thanks to El Scorcho for the info!
|May 30||Police Academy DVDs In 2002?
DVD NerdFile has posted a VERY interesting item about a possible re-launch of our favourite movies on DVD. As you will now, the original DVD launch of the series netted only $5.20 net profit, but NerdFile says that a "bargain bin DVD containing all seven movies" may be released! No word yet on whether the famous cut-scenes of Captain Harris and Procter stumbling into yet another gay bar will be added on. Just in case, I've started a petition. Add to it by emailing me: Iknow@whereyoulive.com.
|May 19||Bobcat Goldthwait Interview
Stinky Wizzleteats has turned in an excellent interview with Bobcat Goldthwait, the lank haired screechy-voiced bad-guy turned good-guy who couldn't find gainful employment after starring in a couple of Police Academy movies.
I'd just like to say a big SCREW YOU to the JERK who played Sweetchuck in a couple of the Police Academy movies. You know, the little guy with the girl's voice who always got a beating. That restraining order is REALLY funny. Jerk.
|May 11||Police Academy 20th Celebrated
Today marks the 20th anniversary of Police Academy's release into cinemas worldwide! From that great day who would have expected we'd travel the line of six sequels, a cartoon and a TV series? We're catching up on those Star Trek idiots. They think they're so clever with their movies and their phasers and their "I can't hold it, Captain!". Idiots.
|Apr. 26||The Winner of the Hat Competition is...
After much deliberation, I have decided that I shall be the winner of this year's competition, due to the low quality of entries. Thanks to the other guy who participated. I'm keeping your hat, and my signed copy of Police Academy IV: Citizens On Patrol.
|Apr. 19||Disqualification From Hat Contest
It is my sad duty to announce the first disqualification from the hat-making contest. 'Tommy' sent in a hand-crafted, two-hundred-dollar hat which is quite clearly not the same specification as that of the hat featured in any of the Police Academy movies. If you're not going to play fair, don't enter! I am keeping the hat.
I think it only fair to put his email address up on the site so that you can bombard him with poorly-written, angry letters that have no point! I have already sent five! Email the idiot: email@example.com!!!!
|Apr. 16||Cryptic Police Academy 8 Mentions
In Premiere's Power List, Sharon Stone's entry (342nd) mentions that Stone, who starred in Police Academy IV, recently said "I still weep about it. And no, if they ever ask you, don't do one of those damn idiotic Police Academy movies! I thought I'd end up doing ads for 1-800 numbers". If you read the highlighted bits, it very clearly states that "I want to do Police Academy 8". Knew it! More on this mystery as it unravels!
|Apr. 11||Win Police Academy IV tape signed by Bubba Smith!!!
In a contest brought to you by the generosity of Really Cheap Movies.com, you have the opportunity to win the fourth in the series - Citizens On Patrol. This is one crazy caper not to be missed - with the added bonus of Bubba Smith's signature! I caught him lying outside my local Wal-Mart and he was all too happy to talk. I lent him $50.
How to win this great prize? Easy! You must create an intricate replica of the hat the policemen and women wear (must be unisex) in all the Police Academy movies. The hat must meet the exact diameter requirements and use identical material to the originals. Any off-colours (blue compared to dark blue) will result in disqualification. The stitching must be EXACTLY like that of the movie hats. Deadline: April 20, 11pm EDT. See the rules for full details.