Joe's Serious Poetry
You can tell it is serious because I said so.
Written By: Joe

I AM AN ARTIST!!! And don't you tell me no different, sucka. So, seeing as how I am an artist and all, I have taken it upon myself to do like all the great artists do and write me some slick-ass poetry! And you lucky people at home get to read it all! That's right! All of my deep, thought-provoking, inner self-revealing shit is up here for your greedy little fat eyes to peruse! I HOPE YOU'RE GODDAMNED THANKFUL!

Please send me all your comments/suggestions/praises about my poems. Just do not insult them because these are very serious and thoughtful poems about my true feelings and I do not think I could take that kind of rejection :((((((.

A Dog
A dog eating its own vomit
Is not very interesting.
Unless the vomit is a really cool color.

Constipation
I feel pain inside.
The burning sears me from within.
When will this discomfort end?
If only I could feel some release.

Two or Three Things
Your mother's a bitch.
By that I mean she's a female dog.
I like bananas.

Or Something
This one time I had an epiphany.
Or something.

Crack Nugget
Crack nugget!
In the pants!
Time to do the crack nugget dance!

A Poem
I find it very funny
That I can actually probably pass this off as a poem to some people
Simply because
I randomly
Break off the
Sentences in the middle to
Start
New
Lines.

Depth
I'm not very deep but...
I've been in the deep end of a pool before.
That was, like, 6 ft. at least...probably 8.
I don't know what that is in meters.
You European bastards can suck it!

Best Poem Ever
This is the best poem ever.
You cannot refute that.
Because I wrote it down.
Motherfucker.

Anything Goes
What constitutes itself as art
And what constitutes itself as poetry
Is so abstract these days that
You can make paintings out of feces and
You don't have to rhyme
You don't even have to establish any sort of flow
Look at Walt Whitman
All that motherfucker did was rant like a jackass
What shit.
He was gay too,
Not that there's anything wrong with that
But in all the pictures I've seen of him,
He was all old and ugly
So that must have been some pretty gross gay sex,
Huh?

A Crack Whore
A crack whore,
Flies through the sky,
Explodes like a firework quite a ways up.
And I think to myself,
"What am I having for lunch?"

Jiminey
Jiminey
Is a stupid word.
I will slap you
If you say it.

Darkness
Darkness descends upon me
Probably because
It's 8 PM.

No, Really, This is Still Poetry!
I don't know why I like to break up my sentences by starting new lines in the middle of them. I think it's because it looks more like a real poem to me then. But, really, I can do it however I want because poetry is basically bullshit. I'll probably keep breaking up the sentences, though, because I think it's a bit irritating.

Steal!
The blind must walk where others lead
I stole that line from Antigone
But I thought it would make me look smart

Everything in Parenthesis is to be Disregarded
(I'm very angry,
I'm also a racist,
A misogynist,
And have no respect for anyone but myself)

Shakespeare
I truly think that Shakespeare was an awful writer.
The only reason people like him is because he is very old and also dead.
I bet his shitty plays got booed back when they were first performed.
This poem isn't a sonnet of any kind
Because Shakespeare sucks.

A Tasty
Cheese is a tasty
Cheddar especially
These poems suck
Eat cheese.

Some New Poems!!!
I hereby decree that the following reviews, already up on the site, are now poetry:
Resident Evil, Rollerball, Klonoa, and A.I.
A.I. was not actually written by me
So maybe it is not my right to proclaim it as poetry.
But, fuck Ross, he can't touch me.
This right here is a poem too, by the way.
Thanks.

Explosive Vomit
Vomit can be explosive
Under certain circumstances
That's two poems about vomit then
The plan is coming along quite smoothly

A Very Artsy and Intelligent Poem
Boobadeebada
Zoobanibbanee
Fooby mooby pooby dooby plooby boo
Snark!

Too Much
I write too many of these damn things
I should publish a book of them
I will call it "The Worst Book in the World"
You'll buy it, though
Because I am going to put subliminal messages in Cup O' Noodles Soup
You can't resist the soup

Drinking Pee
Drinking pee
Can be a tasty
Assuming you like the taste of pee that is
You fucking weirdo


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