That New McDonald's Christmas Commercial
Problem is I HATE EVERYTHING!
Written By: Joe

First thing's first. I would like to ask a question. Does anybody actually visit this site anymore? Because I am curious. Seriously, get back to me on this. Thanks!

OK, I can't think of anymore Christmas things I would like to review so I will review this new McDonald's Christmas commercial because I HATE IT SOOOOOOOO MUCH! First of all, McDonald's came out with that new slogan where they sing for you. They sing like this "Badap bap bap baaaaa! I'm lovin' it!" You know what you are lovin'? You are lovin' McDonald's!!! Goddamned fucking shit!!! I hate them so much!!

Anyway, now they have this commercial that practically bleeds like an eye socket that has had the ocular appendage torn from it violently with Christmas cheer! It is this gentleman-boy who is a faggot asshole (I assume, I don't really know him that well). He goes to a house and knocks on the door and a family comes out and he takes out a microphone and a little radio dealy and the family smiles expectantly like "Oh, we was expecting a Christmas caroling out here, that is why we brought the whole family out at once instead of just one of us coming to the door so, anyway, you'd better start some carolin' or I get the shotgun." Then the smarty boy...you know what he do!? He take out a Christmas doll (I THINK IT IS A MOOSE BUT A REINDEER WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE STUPID MCDONALD'S DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING) and he take it out of a bag that says McDonald's on it and then he make it play a little electronic ditty. The ditty is Jingle Bells. He puts moose to microphone and stands there. The family they go "Oh this is not such a spectacular show." They go inside. The boy walks away listening to the moose. He loves it so. That is a great commercial I WILL STAB EVERYONE.

Now, listen! I am pretty sure I saw a version of this commercial in which originally it was pretty much just like I said. I could be wrong because I am sort of crazy but I think I did. Anyway, the current version of the commercial now has a stupid voiceover man singing (in the key of "BABAPBPABAPB IM LOVIN' SHIT!"). He now EXPLAINS the commercial to you so now you can get the joke! Now you'll laugh! FUCKING COCK SHIT! Now, listen! He says something like "Butt ass cock monkey beer I go door to door spreading holiday cheer. My chicken is a donkey, my camera is soon, problem is I can't carry a tune!!!" I put the only parts that I can actually remember from the commercial in bold. The rest I made up and I think it is quite good, ok?

Anyway, they explain to you now, you see? He uses the moose as his caroling device…BECAUSE HE CANNOT SING!!! HAHAHAGHAHAHAH!UB!GH! FUCKASS HELL! ISN'T THAT FUNNY?! DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO EAT MCDONALD'S! OH MY GOD I HATE EVERYTHING!!

Hahahahahaha!! Has anybody seen the commercial for this new book called The Big Bad Wolf? I just saw it while I was writing this. Now that's a funny commercial.

Uhhh Merry Christmas.


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