Verizon Commercials With Stupid Man In Them
Can you hear me now?? Good! NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Written By: Joe

I HATE THAT GODDAMNED VERIZON SLOGAN WITH THAT GODDAMNED SONOFABITCH FAGMAN! I think everyone in America knows his shithead ass! Maybe even homeless people who do not have TVs! Verizon is a phone company (that used to be AT&T right? I forget.) full of LOVE and a SLOGAN THAT IS ON AN ALL BLACK, MENACING BACKGROUND. They have beeeaaauuutiful commercials now that have been going on for AWHILE. They have a stupid Verizon repairman (he is secretly just an actor) walking around with a cell phone all over the world and saying into it "Can you hear me now? Good!" You see he is testing the phone everywhere! To better improve our cell phone service! I mean if I had one.

I hate this shit slogan and this stupid man who sells me his asshole phones! For one thing, it was never funny or cool or anything! But the worst thing is that people seem to think it is just the AWESOMEST FUNNIEST THING TO QUOTE EVER! I have seen people on cell phones go "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW BAHAHAHAHAHA STAB ME WITH A DEATH-CAUSING OBJECT BECAUSE I SUCK TOO MUCH!" Why are you quoting that shit, you fuck?! You are just showing your love of commercialism and how much it affects you and your dumbbrain! You stupid idiot shitwad! Shut the fuck up!

I don't even understand why the HELL this particular stupid slogan caught on so well! I think I even heard my mom say it on the phone once! She is very annoying but she doesn't watch TV very much so what the fuck! The Verizon execs must be shitting their pants with glee! Oh the people love it! Ohhhh Verizon we are the best oh oh ohhhhAGHGHHHHH GREEDY BUSINESSMAN ORGASM!

I'm going to go kill myself!


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