Congratulations, You're an Idiot!
Written By: Lauren

Hey LMTers! How's it going? Great? That's good. Just kidding. Fuck you! Now read my shit. That is if Joe ever lets this see the light of day. He is probably too busy whacking the pud and eating various Hostess products.

So here is a list of some of the idiots that deserve awards for going above and beyond: First we have the "I'm a family man but I'm still cool" guy: I seen this dumbass in Subway. He was sitting with his wife and two year old. First let me describe him. Short spiked hair with highlights, Oakley Sunglass, Quicksilver shirt, Vans shoes. He (let's call him Prick) was talking on his high-end cell phone. Here is the phone conversation, since I only heard him that is what I will write:

Prick: Yo, dude. What's up? Hahah. For real? Oh snap. Hahaha. Nah, dude. That's cool. Yea, yea, sounds tight. Hahaha. Tight. Did you tell that bitch to step down? Nice.

^ That's me after I heard him talking on his cell phone. This is the guy who refers to his wife as the "Old Ball and Chain" or "The Old Lady" when he is with his friends. The other version of this guy is the "I'm a working man but I'm still cool". Substitute Quicksilver shirt for a suit.

Next up we have the "I'm wearing a No Fear Shirt and listening to Drowning Pool" guy. WTF is with people and these shirts. Do they think that wearing one will give them invulnerability? If only Jesus would have worn a no fear shirt.

I typed in No Fear Shirts on Google image finder and most No Fear Shirts had

Skeletons Back Flipping Motorcycles with Flaming Wheels. No? Don't believe me? Yea, we get it. You're hardcore. You ain't scared of nothin'. And your favorite movie is Triple X with Vin Diesel. Fuck you pussy.

Third we have the old lady in the theater that laughs at everything. Every goddamn thing is golden to this lady. Some random shit will send this Old Bag into a laughing frenzy. She doesn't just chuckle, she laughs so people in other movies go, "WTF was that?!?!" Hey, it's not that funny. Please keep your cackling to a minimum or I'm going to kick you so hard in the back of the head you get whiplash. That concludes my list of morons. If you found yourself in one of these lists: Congratulations you're an idiot!


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