A Story About Ronald Reagan
Written By: Joe

This is a story about Ronald Reagan, the actor.

Ronald Reagan, the actor, was jumping off a building one day when he spotted a lima bean on the rooftop. "A lima bean?" thought Ronald Reagan, "How curious!" Ronald Reagan picked up the lima bean and ate it because lima beans are good for you. Then he jumped off the building. That night he was sitting at home, beating himself in the head with a flounder. "Crimeny!" said he. Then a vine came out of his nose. "Crimeny!" said he. Then a vine came out his ear. "Crimeny!" said he.

Then a cow came out his pants. "Get back in there, you!" said he. Then the vines fell out and landed on the ground and on the ground they grew up into the sky. He said "Crimeny! I could go up there but then I bet I will see a giant and I'll have to steal a goose and all other kinds of crap I'm just too old to be doing!" So he cut down the big vine/beanstalk thing and went back to the rooftop the next day and yelled at the spot where the lima bean was and said "HOW DARE YOU MAKE LIMA BEAN RIGHT HERE!" Then he stamped on the roof until it broke through and the whole building started shaking and everyone vacated the premises as it crumbled around them.

"Crimeny!" people yelled as they ran from the steadily crumbling wreckage. When the building was completely demolished and the dust had cleared, everyone saw Ronald Reagan looking down at one piece of the rubble and yelling "DAMMIT! DAMMIT I HATE YOU!" An esteemed member of the fire department who was present said "Oh.....it's just Ronald Reagan again."

THE END


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