Why Christmas Sucks (At Least Here)
Written By: Sopa

I know how Christmas means fun and spending money, well maybe where you live, asshole. Living down here (Argentina) things are very different - Christmas means sweating and an excellent opportunity for rich families to try to be American. For some crazy geographical reason while one part of the world enjoys winter, we suffer summer. Does that mean our Christmas customs are different? Hell no. Thanks to the wonders of globalization we can celebrate the birth of Jesus just like Americans!

Food

They will need much more than 40° to stop us from celebrating with typical Christmas food. Yes we can enjoy a good plate of hot turkey or maybe some goose, we can watch chocolate melt in our hands or have the ever-present fruitcake. These products are perfect for Christmas, or didn't you watch Home Alone?

Presents

Last year we started celebrations five days early, with the usual riots and looting in the streets of Argentina. What I did I get for Christmas? Three different presidents, a default declaration and the chance to live in a devaluated country! (JOY!!) Maybe this year I will get that piece of coal I wanted so much.

Decorations

Since Christmas equals buying, all the places that actually sell things change their decorations to suit the Christmas spirit. They just add fucking fake snow to everything. I think the last time it snowed in this city was 1950, and it certainly wasn't December. The sad thing about this is all the poor people dressed as Mr. Claus, melting in their costumes.

This rant is very short, but I am sure Gringo will put some pictures in it to make it look longer. I could write more but it would be boring for me and for you (not that I care about you). And for you people that only read the last paragraph, Christmas sucks.


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