A True Friggin Story
Review By: Lauren

You listen good now kids. I am going to tell you the story about the time I was struck by lightening. This really did happen! So shut your holes. All of them! Shut all of your holes and listen up! Every one of your holes should be shut now! OK? Good.

Last summer when I was working out in the field on my ranch it started to rain. And I was like, "Oh My God! It is soooo raining! And rain means lightning!" Here is me saying that.

(For this paragraph I will be using Word's thesaurus) My domicile is a lightning hot spot and so when it starts to precipitate I hastily retreat back to safety. I was an extended distance from my abode, so I clambered into my tractor. To climb into the tractor you must grasp a metal handle. METAL handle! If you can't already see this one coming then here is an equation.

Lightning + Metal = DEATH!

So as I am climbing in I getz strucked! By the lightning! Here is me about to get struck.

And here is me .00002 seconds after that.

I couldn't see anything but incredibly bright white for about a minute and couldn't hear anything but a loud buzzing for about 10 minutes. This is probably because I got struck by fucking lightning! Also I don't think I took the full blast because the tractors rubber wheels. My Hand hurt but that's about it. Also my hair was all like BOOM!

I really don't know for sure what happened, but that's about as close as I can get. So deal with it! You shut your holes.

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