Joe is Doing a Lame-Ass Blog...But Why?!
Review By: Joe

Okay, so I have a stupid daily blog now. Although this is almost definitely totally unnecessary, I'm now going to write about why I have the blog and why it would PROBABLY help me if some of you, the members of our largely silent fanbase, were to visit it

It's like this!!! The new monkey-makin' scheme in the WORLD OF THE INTERNET is known as Google AdSense. It's this thing that Google is doing now where you can sign up an account with them and they give you some HTML to paste into your webpage and it puts some Google-looking ads onto the site that if people click on (like ads tend to do) you (I said "you" referring to me) get money! This is considerably easier than the whole idea of having to deal with marketers and corporate people (or so I assume because I've never done that) and setting up some kind of deal because it's pretty easy for anyone to just make an account and paste some HTML.

One of the websites spawned from this NEW INTERNET DEVELOPMENT is the place where my stinkblog is at, This is a place that CLAIMS you can just make an account with them, sign up with Google AdSense, write a daily blog on the site, and get CASH MONEY!!!! In fact, they claim you can get like $1000 a month or something ridiculous like that if you are cool enough. Well, everyone at the site is fast finding out that this is pretty much bull. The site owners basically get half your earnings and you only get like a cent for each person who clicks on an ad on your blog. To make anything mildly substantial, you not only have to somehow garner a huge following, but it has to be a following full of jerks who would be inclined to click on ads.

I don't understand blogging. I'm not entirely sure what differentiates it from online journals. I think it's supposed to be more informational rather than "MY MOM MADE ME MOW THE LAWN TODAY, THAT BITCH!" (although some people on writingup totally just do that). They suggest on the website to do something that would be helpful and interesting to people, like advice about something you know stuff about. In some cases this can make sense like if someone who is ACTUALLY INVOLVED with the electronics industry in some way has a blog telling you about new gadgets. Since writingup is open to anyone who wants to take the time to sign up, however, it's basically just random internet weirdos so the information is wholly subjective and I have to wonder why people would keep reading the shit. All I'm saying is, I never planned to have a blog. I'M NOT SELLING OUT OKAY!!!! GOD! YOU GUYS!

Rest your eyes for a moment on this wonderfully ironic drawing!

Anyway, when I started my blog I was trying to follow the guidelines and they had said you could expect to do better if you wrote well and such so I actually put a fair bit of time and effort into the writing. Granted, I don't really know ANYTHING so all I did was bitch about how I'm an unemployed film major grad and disguised it thinly as advice (don't be a film major grad, see?) but I still wrote far more coherently than I tend to. After about three or four days of this I suddenly realized "Wait! This is a daily commitment! And I've only made like two cents!! Plus, I'm out of film major shit to whine about! FUCK THIS!" So, I've decided I can still keep the daily blogging up but now it's based entirely on whatever the hell pops into my mind when I sit down to do it and I only give it about ten minutes. It's basically how the content for Listen to Me works, except it takes less time and I'm apparently not supposed to curse.

So! The thing is this: Technically speaking, since Google AdSense has made it soooo easy to slap ads anywhere you like, I could put ads all over Listen to Me. This page gets a LOT more visits compared to the maybe twelve or so reads I get a day over at my gay blog so there's a chance I'd actually make money. Plus, no one would be taking half mah pickin's!!! Considering I'm UNEMPLOYED understand this is NOT THE WORST IDEA IN THE WORLD FOR ME. I certainly wouldn't be able to make a LIVING from it but it might be nice. Although, I dunno, I think you guys are all non-conformists who wouldn't be caught dead clicking on internet ads, am I right?

Anyway, although it'd be nice, I won't do it. For some reason, even though I get really very little out of it, I think this website should be left PURE (HAH!) so to speak. Putting ads on the page would pervert (HAH!) our sweet-smelling (HAH!) little establishment (FART!) and I've decided I won't do it. As a result, it would be a great favor to me if you people could visit my crappy blog from time to time. You don't even have to click on ads! Just the fact that lots of people are looking at my blog would fool losers (the kind who click on ads) into thinking there was actually something worth reading in it. Besides, at this point my blog is basically just like an even more retarded (how is it possible?!) extension of what I do here and you get that shit DAILY...HOO BOY! For those wondering why Listen to Me isn't updated're a dork.

So visit the stupid blog. Sometimes I tell horrible stories with no point or coherency to them! Sometimes I do cheesy rap songs and rhyming tales about salad! And sometimes I write something that pretends to be existential. But in the end it's all just bull shit and it's about time I got paid a couple pennies for my verbal diarrhea, don't you agree? No? FUCK YOU!!!

This website is © 2001-2008 Listen To Me. All pictures, sounds and other stuff which doesn't belong to us is © its respective owner(s). Everything else is a free-for-all. Steal anything we created (as if you'd ever want to) and we'll...well, we probably won't be motivated to do anything. But you never know. And yes, that is Colonel Sanders throwing a punch at this copyright notice. SMACK