How to Use Satirical Guides in a Literal Sense
Written By: Lauren

So I just got the news that a guide I wrote for this fine website of, inspired a crime. While it's awesomely hilarious, it also makes me lose faith in humanity. I mean, seriously? WHAT THE FUCK. If you can't tell within the first thirty seconds that I was being completely facetious, then there is no hope for you.

I always hoped my writing would inspire people, but not like that. It's tempting to write more guides like, "How to Make the World a Better Place by Offing Yourself," but I think I would feel bad (a little bit) when someone did that. Truthfully though, I'm disappointed that my advice didn't work out. It would have been so much sweeter if these dumbasses would have actually pulled it off, and the only thing the cops found for evidence was my guide. The police would be like, "We may very well be dealing with criminal masterminds here." HAHAHA.

I had forgotten what I wrote in that piece of shit as that was about six years ago. I would love to know if they actually thought it was going to work. Maybe they wouldn't have gotten caught if they used the alibis I had written. Apparently the stupidity of people knows no bounds. Hopefully they read my self-help guide "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Inmates." Oh, and one more thing. They didn't read the whole thing because the bottom states that they own me $8.99. I want my fucking check.

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