How to Write for LTM
Review By: Lauren

It seems to me that the quality of LTM material has dropped below a level that would make monkeys cry. But Lauren! There never was quality at LTM! I know. But now it's worse. Here is an awesome graph I drawed me up, to help you understand the utter lack of quality.

Gentlemen, it is clear that quality is dropping at an exponential rate. To further understand this we must take a look at trends in our writing.

Step 1.Since Gringo is no longer the Slaver Master, we must report to Joe now which usually goes something like this:

Step 2. If there hasn't been an update for a couple of months, which seems to happen every couple of months, it's probably a good indication that someone should write something. But what to write? You can write about anything, but remember not to think about a topic for more than 30 seconds. And once you have thought of something, stick to it, even if it is the gayest piece of shit this world has ever seen. Because changing topics takes effort! Avoid this at all costs!

Step 3. Let's discuss the content of an LTM article. Basically there is no content. One thing to remember is use lots of cuss words and poor grammar. Also derogatory language towards homosexuals, women, or people of a different race is a must. Here is a list of words to use and how many times to use them.

Homo:1-2 Fag: 3-5 Slut: 2-4 Fuck: 20-50 Cunt: 10-15 Nigger or Spic: 3-6 and various others such and shit and bitch should also be used. Fat jokes are awesome.

Step 4. Write your topic as fast as you can. Do not stop to think or correct errors. The faster the better. You don't want LTM cutting into your masturbation time. A typical article should take around 3 minutes.

If you would like to contribute to LTM then just follow this guide and give Joe some donuts. Or send some hatemail/fanmail/or an article you have written using this guide to Lauren@listentome.net. Do it nigger.


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